I always dreamed of being a mom, but not just any mom – a GREAT mom. I wanted to raise children who loved how I treated them and the life I provided. Kids who knew respect is a two-way street. Kids who were respectful but not fearful of being themselves around me.

However, I soon realized that achieving this wasn’t easy when I didn’t fully understand what such parenting entailed. I grew up being afraid to share honestly how I felt about pretty much anything. My hair being a prime example. I hated getting my hair done which meant I hated my hair. So I would grow to alter and adjust it.

To give my children the life they deserved, I first had to live it myself. I made a conscious decision to treat them the way I wanted to be treated and began my journey.

I embarked on therapy to help me heal and a self-help journey to learn self-acceptance and love. It took years of vulnerability that began with chopping off all of my chemically altered hair. This inspired me to care more about what I put into my body and how I treated it, and slowly applied to other areas of my life.

Changing habits is challenging; the only thing more challenging is remaining the same. I reminded myself of this as I struggled with old habits creeping back in and faced temptations.

One day, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Adjusting to this new normal allowed me to see clearly: I was living a better life. Not perfect, but improved. I had become a better version of myself.

Today, I have a child who not only loves her hair but has a voice that is fearlessly spoken and accepted when it’s not right, is uncomfortable, or preferred.

I was finally able to model being the mom I desired to be.